How Hard is to Hard to Push Your Aspie To be Social?
Noah continues to struggle at school on a social level. He walks around depressed about his old friends that graduated or left the school, but refuses to move forward to reach out via Facebook and make new friends at school. If Noah’s father and I didn’t push Noah, he won’t move forward.
Last week, I sat with him and showed him how to use Facebook to find his friends from last year. I showed him how easy it was to stay connected. But, I feel he really doesn’t get it. Once his friends accepted the friend request, I explained that a good friend asks questions and doesn’t just spew stuff about mangas and anime. No matter how many years he had in social skills group this part just doesn’t seem to connect always.
Yesterday, Noah had a senior swim party. He wasn’t going to go at all! This made my husband and I so sad. It is his senior year; he should go and hang out, even if it is for a short time. So, the day before the event, I drove Noah to school. I had his undivided attention. We usually have the best talks when it is just the two of us. Originally, Noah’s plan was to visit the library, check out some books and movies for the weekend and have lunch. I explained that he should make an appearance at the swim party and he might know some people there. In fact, I told him he might have fun. That’s when he told me he just likes to be alone. That was hard to hear. I told him lots of people like to be alone. I have moments where I just need “Me time.” However, I really want him to understand in the real world, he needs to try and step outside of his comfort zone, even if it just a little bit. Any movement forward is better than none.
Recently, Noah told us about a class trip during Spring Break. He really wants to go. Perfect! It is the bait we needed. We told him that we would only agree to pay for this trip if he works hard in school and begins to be more social by making new friends and attending some events.
I just don’t want him to be alone in the world. This is my biggest fear. Am I pushing too hard?